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Always be aware of any helpful item that weighs less than it's operating manual. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Always be aware of any helpful item that weighs less than it's operating manual.

Terry Pratchett

What's so surprising about bacon? I dunno, I suppose it comes as something a a shock to the pig. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

What's so surprising about bacon? I dunno, I suppose it comes as something a a shock to the pig.

Terry Pratchett

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,' he said. 'Have you thought of going into teaching? - Terry Pratchett Quotes

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,' he said. 'Have you thought of going into teaching?

Terry Pratchett

Skill

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog

Terry Pratchett

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp - Terry Pratchett Quotes

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp

Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

Terry Pratchett

Cats English Author

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, and there was no one there to hear it, does it - philosopically speaking - make a noise? - Terry Pratchett Quotes

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, and there was no one there to hear it, does it - philosopically speaking - make a noise?

Terry Pratchett

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree

Terry Pratchett

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the players, (ie everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the players, (ie everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

Terry Pratchett

God

But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection.One day a tortoise will learn how to fly. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection.One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.

Terry Pratchett

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it - Terry Pratchett Quotes

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it

Terry Pratchett

Mind

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.

Terry Pratchett

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along.

Terry Pratchett

Chess English Author

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting

Terry Pratchett

You know me, Esme. I couldn't subtract a fart from a plate of beans. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

You know me, Esme. I couldn't subtract a fart from a plate of beans.

Terry Pratchett

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Terry Pratchett

And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason.

Terry Pratchett

There was always someone ready to cut the heir with a knife - Terry Pratchett Quotes

There was always someone ready to cut the heir with a knife

Terry Pratchett

It was already growling, and the growl was a low, rumbling snarl of spring-coiled menace, the sort of growl that starts in the back of one throat and ends up in someone else's. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

It was already growling, and the growl was a low, rumbling snarl of spring-coiled menace, the sort of growl that starts in the back of one throat and ends up in someone else's.

Terry Pratchett

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Terry Pratchett

Dreams English Author

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.

Terry Pratchett

English Author Exercise

The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.

Terry Pratchett

Cool

It's either because of the number of times the scholar puts the boot into Peter Jackson [the director of The Lord of the Rings films] or is making a point they have never heard of. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

It's either because of the number of times the scholar puts the boot into Peter Jackson [the director of The Lord of the Rings films] or is making a point they have never heard of.

Terry Pratchett

An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.

Terry Pratchett

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.Elves are terrific. They beget terror.The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.No one ever said elves are nice.Elves are bad. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.Elves are terrific. They beget terror.The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.No one ever said elves are nice.Elves are bad.

Terry Pratchett

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?" Death thought about it "Cats," he said eventually, "Cats are Nice

Terry Pratchett

Death

Humans need fantasy to be human. Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet you act, like there was some sort of rightness in the universe by which it may be judged:Yes. But people have got to believe that or what's the point?My point exactly. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Humans need fantasy to be human. Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet you act, like there was some sort of rightness in the universe by which it may be judged:Yes. But people have got to believe that or what's the point?My point exactly.

Terry Pratchett

Honor

There's a door.Where does it go?It stays where it is, I think. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

There's a door.Where does it go?It stays where it is, I think.

Terry Pratchett

But ye gotta know where ye're just going to rush in. Ye canne just rush in anywhere. It looks bad, havin' to rush oout again straight awa'. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

But ye gotta know where ye're just going to rush in. Ye canne just rush in anywhere. It looks bad, havin' to rush oout again straight awa'.

Terry Pratchett

Now the melting pot was full of lumps again. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Now the melting pot was full of lumps again.

Terry Pratchett

Never build a dungeon YOU can't get out of. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Never build a dungeon YOU can't get out of.

Terry Pratchett

Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course.

Terry Pratchett

Something as artificial and human as an hour wouldn't last five minutes here. It would be dried out and shrivelled up in seconds. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Something as artificial and human as an hour wouldn't last five minutes here. It would be dried out and shrivelled up in seconds.

Terry Pratchett

Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that thereÃ¢â¬â¢s nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that thereÃ¢â¬â¢s nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone.

Terry Pratchett

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bull, was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bull, was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it

Terry Pratchett

Man

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living.

Terry Pratchett

Law

He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe- which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe- which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.

Terry Pratchett

Logic

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

Terry Pratchett

Darkness English Author

The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the date last shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the date last shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality.

Terry Pratchett

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ""idiot"".

Terry Pratchett

The Quantum Weather Butterfly ( Papilio Tempestae ) is an undistinguished yellow color, its outstanding feature is its ability to create weather. This presumably began as a survival trait, since even an extremely hungry bird would find itself inconvenienced by a nasty localized tornado ( usually about 6 inches across ). From there it possibly became a secondary sexual characteristic, like the plumage of birds. Look at *me*, the male says, flapping his wings lazily in the canopy of the rain forest. I may be an undistinguished yellow color but in a fortnight's time, a thousand miles away, Freak Gales Cause Road Chaos. This is the butterfly of the storm - Terry Pratchett Quotes

The Quantum Weather Butterfly ( Papilio Tempestae ) is an undistinguished yellow color, its outstanding feature is its ability to create weather. This presumably began as a survival trait, since even an extremely hungry bird would find itself inconvenienced by a nasty localized tornado ( usually about 6 inches across ). From there it possibly became a secondary sexual characteristic, like the plumage of birds. Look at *me*, the male says, flapping his wings lazily in the canopy of the rain forest. I may be an undistinguished yellow color but in a fortnight's time, a thousand miles away, Freak Gales Cause Road Chaos. This is the butterfly of the storm

Terry Pratchett

She'd stopped reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about romance and knitting and started reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about orgasms, but apart from making a mental note to have one if ever the occasion presented itsel - Terry Pratchett Quotes

She'd stopped reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about romance and knitting and started reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about orgasms, but apart from making a mental note to have one if ever the occasion presented itsel

Terry Pratchett

It wasn't blood in general he couldn't stand the sight of, it was just his blood in particular that was so upsetting. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

It wasn't blood in general he couldn't stand the sight of, it was just his blood in particular that was so upsetting.

Terry Pratchett

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.

Terry Pratchett

The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.

Terry Pratchett

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

Terry Pratchett

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?" Death thought about it "Cats," he said eventually, "Cats are Nice

Terry Pratchett

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.

Terry Pratchett

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.

Terry Pratchett

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett Quotes

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

Terry Pratchett

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